Funny Story

So I haven't posted in forever, but I heard this story through a friend. It was apparently posted on OffTopic.com forums. This is an exact quote.

Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little bastards that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.

Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprinkle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little bastard he is.

I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, his mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.

Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Ma’am, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m HIV POSITIVE.”

And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing.

I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.

/end

The second I heard this story, I laughed my ass off. Fucked up? Maybe, but if you haven't heard before, I'm not a fan of dickhead kids in public.