Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Welcome Back and New Orleans

So its been suggested that I start a blog since some people have to hear the same story twice. This way I just will stop telling everyone my stories. I remembered I had this blog and instead of starting a new one. I'm not even going to bother deleting old posts, and I don't remember at all what I wrote.

So this past weekend I went to New Orleans with some friends/more than friends (why the fuck is that plural?!?!). There was so much great food, I was the only idiot that got sick and there was a lot of just overall weirdness to the entire trip. I can't really describe the way I feel about the whole thing, because to tell you the truth I don't really know right now.

I've been going over the entire ordeal in my head the past 3 days, anytime I have a little downtime. I've received unsolicited advice from friends (as well as solicited) which is great, but it hasn't brought me to any sort of conclusion. Its just really strange to lose your will to fight for something you've cared about. I don't know if that means I've stopped caring or if I just need time to regather my strength. I guess that's what I'm trying to figure out.

Not sure who all will be reading this, or if anyone will at all, but I'll share it with those who may find it interesting. I guess its turning into a journal of sort. Alright, I'm done being [insert putdown here].

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Funny Story

So I haven't posted in forever, but I heard this story through a friend. It was apparently posted on forums. This is an exact quote.

Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little bastards that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.

Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprinkle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little bastard he is.

I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, his mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.

Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Ma’am, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m HIV POSITIVE.”

And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing.

I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.

The second I heard this story, I laughed my ass off. Fucked up? Maybe, but if you haven't heard before, I'm not a fan of dickhead kids in public.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

I'm Important Bitch!!!!

I came to a strange realization last night driving down the road. That is, we all have the ability to change someone's mood and or day, even if we having no fucking clue who they are. Here's the scenario:

I'm at a stop light last night when I turn and see two people next to me, laughing and having a good time with their window rolled down. At this time, my imagination started to run and I realized that I had the ability to change the mood of that entire car from one of happy friendship, to one of (headphones for this link) pissed off rage. To do this, all I would need to do is roll down my window and yell this phrase I came up with at the time.

"Hey you dumb fucking bitch, stop fucking laughing and drive your fucking car you stupid fucking piece of shit! Go fuck yourself, your parents never even wanted you!"

Now before you start saying "Brandon, WTF is wrong with you?! Why would you do that?!" To answer your question, I did not do that and never would but I'm just saying I realized that I had the ability to ruin that person's day with that one little thing. Yes, that would be mean, ridiculous and fucked up, but every single one of us has had one time where someone on the road has done something while driving to piss us off, and you know the next few minutes are at least different for you. Imagine if someone said THAT to you, you'd be pissed because you'd have no idea why some stranger said this and if they then took off you'd probably never know and spend at least a good 15-30 minutes trying to figure it out. To top it off, you'll probably talk about it to people you see and re-live the experience over and over again. Pretty fucking crazy.

On a side note, I was in a weird mood yesterday and had to write up a script for a demo presentation my group is giving in about a month. When I emailed the first draft to my group, I decided to put this (minus the links) in the Subject:

First Draft of Demo Script for Brown Bag Lunch in Which We Will Discuss ATA and Show the Prototype so that the people in the audience can then see what it does but we will also explain to them what it does with spoken word in order to make sure they understand and we will go into more detail on what the future release will hold which will make a lot of people really excited to see what happens and then we can all go out for some punch and pie afterwards unless you don't like punch...or I guess pie. But who doesn't like pie? Seriously, my friend Rich from Elementary School use to hate pie and I told him he wasn't human and pushed him down on the playground. I think I got 4 days of detention for that but it got cut down to 1 when they found out Rich didn't like pie. Because seriously, that's insane. There are so many different types of pies, its completely impossible and improbably to not like Pie. I mean, why even live? You have apple, pumpkin, pecan (I myself am not a fan), cherry cheesecake (I know it says cake but don't be fooled), and many more.

I got an email from my boss letting me know I forgot the eom at the end of that, I thought that was cute.

So I was browsing the internets when I found an old rap video. In aforementioned video you will notice one dude wearing a Texas A&M hat...WTF?!

Anyway, sorry for not many links today, was in a hurry. Here's a video for my lack of posting recently (hint: it's not funny just nostalgic).

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

F&*$ing $h17

Goddamn it, I've told you guys millions of fucking times how much I love television. Then you fuckers at [insert entertainment corporation of your choice] decided to fuck me over and screw up my TV because they can't pay writers and so there's a strike. So, lets go through the run down.

  • The Office - Pretty much dead since the writers are also actors (maybe 2-3 more episodes tops, I read only 1 episode somewhere, we'll see)
  • Scrubs - The last fucking season better fucking finish
  • 24 - Postponed...fucking postponed, that means my 24 episodes back to back has to wait even fucking longer
  • Lost - Most likely condensed to 8 episodes. Ok, so not only do you split the planned 2 seasons (24 episodes each) to 3 seasons (16 episodes each), but now this next Season is only 8 episodes?! And I'm guessing you're still going to want 50 fucking dollars for it on DVD as well right? DOUCHEBAGS!
  • House M.D. - At least this doesn't have tons of on going shit, I will at least enjoy these last few episodes
  • Chuck - eh, good show, gotten into it but won't cry
  • Dexter - I swear I will turn into Dexter if they fuck with this show
  • Weeds - another eh
  • Prison Break - THE LAST FUCKING SEASON. If this dies I will be extremely pissed.
  • Daily Show/Colbert Report - Already gone, meaning I'm stuck to watching random movies or re-runs to fall asleep to.

And speaking of Colbert, they are not allowing him to run in South Carolina, fuck them too.

So is pretty much Shit McShit day for me now. Guess I'll have to spend more time reading, writing music, programming that website I keep talking about and writing the script for my first attempt at a movie.

Oh, and I lost a bet with Dan, I now owe him some amount of money for not posting last Thursday/Friday as well as my lame Wednesday post. Sorry for the lack of links this time, I was really just pissed and here's a video.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I Have Exercised the Demon

I have finally given up WoW. Stay tuned for another post tomorrow (I don't owe Dan Shit!)

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Guitar Hero is First Class (A Blatant Ripoff of Danny Boy)

So I just read some very interesting news from my friend Wheezy about Guitar Hero III. So click that link...I'll wait... Ok, so they are possibly releasing it on DS now. My question is, WHY?! While I love my Guitar Hero (though I can't get passed Through the Fire and Flame on Medium much less Expert), what is the point to releasing it on a screen the size of my thumb. Next we'll be seeing it on the iPhone (I would actually like that) which would be just as ridiculous.

So I didn't really have much else to say, just thought that was ridiculous. If I was good at the artworks like Wheezy maybe I'd draw an amusing comic about Guitar Hero on an iPhone, but instead I'll just place his comic on my page and pretend I made it.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Finally Television is Back

So I'm not sure if everyone reading the ole texts here knows this, but I love my television. So every year when October hits, I start to get pissed off. I'll tell you why, because I fucking hate baseball and for some ungodly reason, Fox (the good one, not the News) likes to show it during my favorite shows. So October usually means I have maybe 1 new episode of Prison Break and House the entire month. This makes for a pissed off Mexican (NSFW At ALL!). Lucky for me I just bought Showtime, which offers a shit load of good television. It all started with Dexter (intrigued?). Now I started watching Weeds, which is funny and has the guy from 40 Year Old Virgin in it. Also, Californication is not bad either, though Moulder as a weird sex writer who has sex all the time is weird.

So there's not much else going on, just that. So here's your ending video. (NSFW due to Language)